Loaded Bible: Jesus vs. Vampires

(Image, 2006)
™ and ©

In a post-apocalyptic future where vampires control most of the United States and regular human beings are but food to the blood sucking fiends, the righteous who live in New Vatican City ask, “What Would Jesus Do?”

What he does is come back and kick vampire behind with a vengeance.

If you can get past the outright blasphemy of the concept, you might find a satirical comic which pokes fun at a number of subjects, including religion, the media’s effect on public opinion and the influence of the religious right on American politics.

— William Gatevackes

From the Comics Buyer’s Guide:

When it’s revealed that vampires exist, Christian extremism gets a big boost, which leads to a post-nuclear world in which the remnants of humanity cower under a giant geodesic dome dubbed New Vatican City. Defending stragglers in the Bad Lands beyond is Jesus Christ, returned to redeem humanity by destroying the vampires.

You’d expect something so specifically orchestrated to offend some people would, at the very least, be outrageous, but it’s more anemic than offensive. Sure, there are broad potshots at organized religion, but it’s emblematic that the ugliest moment comes when excrement is hurled at the TV screen by the ancient (and surprisingly simian) vampire Lilith.

While he performs a few minor miracles, there’s nothing particularly Christ-like about His new incarnation as a generic (if skinnier than usual) action hero who happily kills while making hackneyed one-liners. But the book’s worst offense is its dullness; it takes forever (six whole pages to establish that there’s been an apocalypse) to get started, and there’s hardly anything there when it arrives.

— S.A. Bennett

Jump to issue:

Notes

Writer

Artist

#1

April, 2006
Cover Price: $4.99
2 copies available from $4.98

Tim Seeley

Nate Bellegarde, Mark Englert