Seven Soldiers: Bulleteer

(DC, 2006)
™ and © DC Comics, Inc.

Seven Soldiers is writer Grant Morrison’s (Animal Man) captivating thirty-part saga of an apocalyptic threat that has already wiped the floor with one set of Seven Soldiers that were called upon by the Seven Unknown Men, so a new team must be assembled.

This four-issue limited-series-within-a-limited-series introduces readers to Alix Harrower, a gorgeous young woman whose husband Lance is a scientist obsessed with the sexuality of super-heroes and super-heroines. His goal is to perfect Smartskin, a nearly indestructible living metallic fiber that bonds with skin collagen, and establish himself and Alix as a sexy husband-and-wife super-hero team in the tradition of Bulletman and Bulletgirl. When he sacrifices his life in an experiment gone awry, Alix finds herself covered in Smartskin and endowed with super-powers she doesn’t necessarily want.

Will she prove herself capable of handling the mission the Seven Unknown Men have in mind for their newly selected soldiers?

— Thomas Moudry

From the Comics Buyer’s Guide:

Grant Morrison makes writing comic books look easy. In Seven Soldiers: Bulleteer, he tells the reader about struggling super–heroes trying to survive in the DC universe in what amounts to a satire about the comic–book industry. The Bulleteer represents a newcomer to the scene, and she meets another wannabe hero named Mind Grabber Man. He tells her she should show more cleavage to speed up a line of fanboys at a super–hero convention, which is clearly meant to represent a comic–book convention. The convention comes complete with old–timers, panels, and lots of half–naked girls pushing some sort of product at their table.

The whole thing comes off as pathetic, while, at the same time, Morrison manages to inject a note of seriousness when an assassin shows up to kill our hero. A lot of this story seems to be self–hating fanboy rhetoric, but Morrison’s dialogue and pacing are so good, you almost won’t mind. Still, DC should let him tackle something more challenging. However, if you’re a Morrison fan, it’s not a bad diversion.

— Tony DiGerolamo

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